Playing With Consciousness

*Note – This is a reprint (and an excerpt at that – plus, it’s been adjusted for the current age) of a previous Playing With Consciousness newsletter.

If you DIG it, you can sign up for it later – stay the course Dude, and finish your current adventure…



An Inner Game…


You are currently getting what you want, even if you aren’t liking it.

We are constantly talking ourselves into and out of everything we want.

Because we’re simply unaware of exactly what it is that causes it, or how it actually works.

Though, what we do is in line with it enough, that we get some of what we want… and also, some of what we don’t.

It’s you dude, you’re doing it.

You simply don’t know exactly what you’re doing.
Or how it actually works.

But you’re doing it, flawlessly. 

Do a little of “this”, and a few weeks later “that” happens… having a gut feeling they’re correlated… no idea you’re actually staring causality in the face…

Act a bit like “this”, and always have, get a little of “that”… can’t see they’re intrinsically tied together but getting the results, the outcomes, the consequences nonetheless…

Maddening. Idn’t it? 

Yep. Crazy making…


The trick (and the Truth) is, you’re the one doing it…

You’re it. 
You’re the magic.
You’re doing “it.”
You’re creating it…

The good, the bad, the “what the fuck” – all of it.

It’s what you do.
It’s what you are (a creator). 
You’re an expert at it.
You don’t even have to learn how to do it…
You simply need to learn what you’re doing, so you can do it intentionally.

It’s YOU, dude.

It’s simpler than you think… and hidden in plain sight.

You already do it (create) perfectly… flawlessly in fact.

If only you knew exactly what you were doing and how it actually works…

You’d be unstoppable, move those proverbial mountains, unstuck, unfucked, satisfied, fulfilled… dare I say, happy?

It is what it is.
And it will be what you make it.
Because it is what you think it is.

You’re “IT.”
And you’re doing “IT.”

How good could you stand it?

You’re it. 
You’re the magic.
You’re doing “it.”
You’re creating it…

The good, the bad, the “what the fuck” – all of it.

It’s what you do.
It’s what you are (a creator). 
You’re an expert at it.
You don’t even have to learn how to do it…
You simply need to learn what you’re doing, so you can do it intentionally.


It’s YOU, dude.

It’s simpler than you think… and hidden in plain sight.

You already do it (create) perfectly… flawlessly in fact.

If only you knew exactly what you were doing and how it actually works…

You’d be unstoppable, move those proverbial mountains, unstuck, unfucked, satisfied, fulfilled… dare I say, happy?


It is what it is.
And it will be what you make it.
Because it is what you think it is.

You’re “IT.”
And you’re doing “IT.”


How good could you stand it?

Is that A-truth for you or The-truth for you?


The ability to discern between the two allows you to change anything about your life.


And it starts with Self Talk/Inner Dialog/Personal Narrative/Prayer/Meditation/Your Instructions/Whatever You Call It/You get the point…

In the previous issue, we discussed “A-truth” vs “The-truth” and how we’re living by “instructions” (aka Programs) that we’ve agreed upon, whether we know it or not.

Since you were a child, you’ve been practicing or rehearsing these programs. You’ve practiced them so much, they’ve been automatic… together they make up your “second nature.”

These instructions (Programs) can be changed…

…if we know the difference between “a-truth” and “The-truth.”


Here’s a quick recap: 

A-truth is something we’ve agreed is “true” for us, or about the world, or about people, or “how things work” and most importantly, how things “work” for us.

“The-truth” is an underlying natural law, a thing that cannot be changed. ex. Humans breathe air, not water. ex. You’re 5’10” tall… not 6’5″ tall.

We confuse these two kinds of truth in such a way that we create our own prisons or boxes that we must operate within. And we’re limited by what we believe to be “true.”

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “in your own way.” That’s basically what this means…

You bought into an idea as a universal truth and because of that, you can’t wrap your head around that idea possibly being untrue… in fact, when something is “The-Truth” for us, we don’t even see it, thus we don’t ever question it.


We are capable of defining the truth that serves us, just as we are capable of eliminating the truth that doesn’t serve us.

Being able to tell the difference between “a truth” and “The Truth” is all it takes.

Easier said than done… or, you wouldn’t have any false assumptions or inaccurate conclusions screwing up your experience…


Perspective is everything.

It’s a game of perspective. The way we play the game is by being able to shift perspective at will without being holden to a perspective as The-Truth.

I can’t make you change your mind…

And it may take you a while to find your way down the rabbit hole…

Once you do, you’ll begin untangling all of your incorrect inappropriate “truths.” You’ll find yourself freer and happier, more productive, less stressed out, and less sad.

When you find your “self” and make friends with that person, you’ll find “The Truth” – that, you’re IT.

You get to decide what is true for you and what isn’t. We do this by giving our Self instructions. All the “truths” you live by are really just instructions you’ve followed and agreed were “right” for you.

The coolest part of “life” where the magic lies is in the ability to instruct (Program) yourself intentionally… by deciding which perspectives serve you best.

Last little bit of the recap to provide the right context for where we’re headed:

If you have raised children, you’ve likely heard the quip “None of us were handed “The Instruction Manual To Raising Little People Correctly.” – Which ought to have been coined as “None of us were handed the instruction manual for intentionally creating an Identity from which to live our lives in a way that suits us.” 

Until you were about 6-7 years old you were like a sponge, soaking up all the programming around you… from your family to your culture, to the stuff & things you were exposed to.

By the time you were 17-18 you had fully formed the identity you have since perfected.

Someone could have pulled you aside then and said “the idea was to learn how to form an identity that serves you in being-doing-having the person and life you wish…

but they didn’t.

That’s what we’re doing here, that’s the “something missing” the “something’s off” that caused you, like Neo in the movie, to keep seeking, to continue exploring every little way, every path, to “fix” it. 

Here you go, dude:

Nothings wrong, you’re not broken, you’re simply being a version of your self that doesn’t quite fit, or suit you. 😉

Like a mask. Or a costume…

“a-truth” vs “The-Truth”? They guide our experience, create it even.

A huge majority of what instructed/programmed you (info and experiences) was flat-out wrong. Ideas like how you “should” feel about yourself, how you “should” feel about money, even how the world works… much of what you learned was just wrong.

It was dumped on you and poured into your mind by seemingly well-meaning people. People who really, in most cases, were doing the best they could do… cause they didn’t know any better either.

If you accept that we can change the instructions that govern our lives, and recognize that it takes effort to pinpoint exactly what to change (since all of the “a-truths” appear to be “The-truths” and we don’t even really see ‘em), where the fuck do we begin?


You are your own greatest enemy. And also your greatest hero… your own champion. 

Often we’re a solid, fucked up mix of both enemy and hero. Which feels a lot like 2 steps forward, 3 steps back.

Or being on a hamster wheel… and ultimately creating an underlying stream of seemingly “shit luck” or the appearance of “yeah, it’s not too bad…”

Not sure about you, but fuck that. If I have anything to say about it…

I want to introduce you to your “Real Self” and a really cool way to connect with that… a way that removes all the resistance you’ve likely faced when doing any type of shelf help or personal development or soul-searching let’s call it personal advancement… which begins with self-discovery. I know, you’re not lost, you don’t need to be found…

Before we get there, let’s lay the groundwork for you to be able to meet that person without any judgment or disbelief (but really, without freaking the fuck out).

First, we need to get you to stop kicking your own ass. Before we begin creating new instructions for you to live by, we need to identify your limiters (another name for the beliefs – the “a-truths” you use to keep yourself down).

The way we talk to ourselves is everything. (This will apply to you, no matter what.)

I’ve had smart people tell me they don’t do this (again, another “a-truth” they’re living by). This also expresses/presents/manifests itself differently for each of us.

What I’m talking about is how we “talk” to ourselves.

Some of us “think” in our heads in our own voice.

Some of us think in our own heads in feelings.

Some people don’t believe we “think” or “talk” to ourselves in our own heads.

Some people are more or less aware of it… we all do it.

You think, whether you’re consciously aware of it or not. It’s likely you’re either not aware of it, or very aware of it…

Either way, if you don’t think you talk to yourself, you will become aware of it.

And if you’re like me, non-stop “talking” to yourself, you’ll learn how to tone that down and begin managing it appropriately.

Like a faculty, YOU have control over it, so it doesn’t have control over you.

We all instruct ourselves or “talk” to ourselves CONSTANTLY. And this behavior is what guides our daily lives and creates our tomorrow…

Based on all of your yesterdays.

You’ve rehearsed that “code” and those programs so many times you’ automated them, and have since perfected them

We are always talking ourselves into things, out of things, talking down to our self, creating “outs” for ourselves, setting our ego up for mediocrity, or even outright failure.

And the areas of your life that always seem to be amazing, yep, your “self-talk” is what created those and perpetuates them… until it doesn’t.

Let’s say you talk shit about other people in your own head… (Which we’ve already heard is like “drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies.”) I’ll show you how this works and how to eliminate it because what we’re actually doing is talking shit to our Self.

And we don’t even realize it! More on that in a bit.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, how you think is the narrative of how you operate your life. This thinking business is the “in-the-moment instruction” that creates your present now, which ultimately directs how your future unfolds.

Quick question. For all the effort you’ve exerted over the last 5 years, is your life vastly different than it was 5 years ago?

I am talking about the way you feel about your life – what it’s like being YOU day to day?

Are you way further along than you thought you would be, way further behind, or is this moment right now what you had hoped it would be? Is your “Now” the future you’ve been trying to “get to”?

Or is life right now, right this moment, still quite a bit like it was 5 years ago?

What your answer is doesn’t matter for the reason you think it does… and certainly not for the reason you think I asked.

How you respond to that question holds the key to the overall adjustment that CAN be made in your “thinking”…

If your life is worse than it was 5 years ago, it can totally be better.

If your life largely resembles what it did 5 years ago, guess what? It CAN be better.

If your life is absolutely amazeballs AND you consciously recognize how awesome it is right here, in this very moment… guess what? It can be even better.

Check this out. You have two main sets of instructions.

Like your computer or your phone, you have a main operating system (which include your core beliefs about your Self and how you are in the world, also how the world works).

And a bunch of programs or apps that sit on top of that main operating system. We’ll call those programs your software. Also known as all the self talk/instructions you give your Self.

Together, these two sets of instructions are what make you YOU… who and how you are is based on these two sets of instructions.

Still with me?

Cool, your core beliefs (your operating system) were essentially built by the adults you grew up around AND your the conclusions you came to by observing them, the world, and you in it while you were a child.

And your software is made up of the ideas/beliefs/conclusions that you’ve come to as an adult.

Because your understanding of how the world works, how people are, and how you fit into the world was all “set in stone” while you were a child, all of your software must work in accordance to the “laws” that you believe to be (The-truths) about your Self.

If the operating system is solid, apps either work the way they’re supposed to or they don’t work at all.

If your operating system is solid, changing your software or your instructions are easy. If all of our operating systems work, then we might just have a bunch of junk code in them.

And starting with the software or the “surface level” instructions we’re living by makes it easier to get down into the operating system so we can make the deeper changes.

Deeper changes = more secure operating system.

But what if something doesn’t work?

Since you’re probably human, it’s likely that your operating system (your core beliefs) and your software (all the self talk/instructions) that govern your day to day experience are set up to get you the life you currently have.

Some apps (your self talk) should work correctly, but seem buggy, so they force close and freeze (like when you talk yourself into taking care of something or finishing a project but don’t).

Or they seem to work fine, but then when you close them, they don’t save your work and you have to start over (like focusing on creating a new habit to eat better, or start exercising and quit 2 weeks later).

GAH! It worked and then it didn’t…

Since we were born, people (including ourselves) have added code to our operating system…

Some of that code works well together, other bits of code don’t. Said another way, since you were born, your engine has been put together with various parts from different manufacturers, some of those parts work well together, some don’t.

Like putting Ford parts on a Dodge engine block – we’ve all been built by well-meaning people, using different parts.

Now. You and I sort of know this, but many of us think we’ve got to work with what we are… what and who we’ve “become.” That is “A-truth”.

In an effort to keep this Issue to less than 13,000 pages AND to not get too complicated, let’s reel this back in.

All those codes (or parts) that you were built with become the hardcoded operating system (or vehicle) that all the other shit you’ve learned since sits on top of.

So, even if you learned all the cool fancy shit about neuroscience and how we can radically change the brain and make our lives better with new simple instructions and just a little bit of practice, you’re still playing with (or fighting against) your hard-coded operating system.

And, as you begin thinking about all the bullshit code (and fucked up parts) the factory workers (parents, teachers, etc) used to build you with…


Once you become aware of how you’re instructing yourself in ways that tear you down and STOP doing that shit, then you can create new instructions that absolutely change the course of your life in incredibly positive ways. And quickly, too.

The biggest issue with this is you will likely be defending the way you treat yourself.

It’s your operating system… it seems like “YOU” and absolutely feels like “The-Truth” about yourself. It’s not.

And at first, it will feel fucking awkward. If that happens, it’s natural.

Check this out: for however long you’ve been an adult, you’ve been operating yourself in ways that you were taught were correct, not always in ways you, a rational, reasonable adult, decided to.

Now you’re getting permission to throw that shit away… you might feel guilty about it, or like you’re getting away with something… like you’re being naughty and not behaving.

Totally normal. Guess what? You’re an adult. You probably have good judgment about right and wrong.

And you can fucking make up your own rules as to how YOU play the game. That’s what this is about. Making new rules.

And if you’re going to make up the rules, let’s start with whatever rules there are about “How well you have done up to this point.” Guess what. All those well-intentioned, good people you’re trying to please, appease, or get approval from… don’t matter.

At the end of today, when you go to bed, you’re going to fall asleep by yourself… even if your partner falls asleep right next to you.

You only have to answer to YOU. And how you answer to YOU is the only thing that matters.

First order of business. Become aware of how you talk to yourself by becoming present. This may be easier said than done, at first. Especially with all the million things you have going on.

Most of us live on auto-pilot most of the time. This is going to need its own entire issue that I may do in the future but suffice it to say, you’re on auto-pilot an average of 80% – 90% of the time.

Your routines, rituals, habits… you get out of bed the same way every day, do the same 5 things in the first 30 minutes and follow the same normal track each and every day and there are daily cycles, weekly cycles, and so on.

Your mind does this to conserve energy.

Not all of those auto-pilot habits are serving you. The core of those auto-pilot habits is the code you were built with.

Becoming aware of the automatic thinking you do constantly is going to require you become a little more present. Aw, fuck! Here comes some work! Yep. But it’s worth it if you’ll do it.

Right now, as you’re reading this, ask yourself these questions:

Am I paying attention?

How do I feel about myself right now?

Have I talked down about myself today?

Have I blamed myself for something today?

Have I called myself names today?

Did I take the blame for something today that wasn’t my fault?

If I had to grade myself for my behavior today, would it be a 10 or a 1?

Have I cared for myself today, beyond the basic requirements?

Have I spoken ill of others to someone else (or in my own head) today?

Do I feel the way I wish I did?

Am I frantically running around trying to get shit done?

Do I feel I have enough time to get everything I want to do done today?

Ok. That may be overwhelming… unless you just blew right through them without actually thinking about them.

Think about a time earlier today or over the last few days when something didn’t go well.

Think about what happened for a minute, and play the whole thing over in your mind right now.

Seriously, bring that experience back to life.

Got the “feeling” of it?

Cool. Ask yourself this.

What am I thinking about myself now? How does that feel? Do I want more of that feeling? If the answer is no, stop repeating that “track” in your head. Does that make sense?

Now, the truth is, even if you do this under the surface and don’t really think you do this, you’re doing it to yourself all the time… on auto-pilot.

Even if it’s not brutal. It’s enough to keep you down, keep you limited, keep you smaller than you really are.

Shifting gears for a second, keep up…

The past no longer exists, except when you remember it.

The future does not exist except when you think about it.

“There. Is. No. There.” (When you fully get this, you will never be fucked with by your past or the what if’s about your future.)

Both the future and the past cannot be affected by anything other than what you do right now, here in this moment.

The past can only be affected by your thinking about it, while your future is affected by how you think, feel, and act now – in each and every present moment.

Each present moment is about 90 seconds. 

If most of what we do is on auto-pilot, how the hell do we expect to get anything meaningful done?

If what we think about is automated to the point where we’re not even consciously aware of it, how the hell do we expect to have better outcomes than what we currently have?

When we remember the past, typically it’s about shit that doesn’t feel awesome and when we think about the future, many of us tend to feel anxious about it. What we want in the future is something different than what we currently have or are experiencing.

Therefore the feeling we have now is to get away from something and into something different, which has the emotional signal of negativity. And sadly, all the hoping, wishing, and praying won’t get you what you want if your current emotional signal is negative by nature…

Your mind has the ability to process a tiny fraction of the information you’re bombarded with… BOTH externally and internally. This forces our mind to use filters… and create automated processes to recognize patterns…

Again, we’ll go down a rabbit hole on that later, just understand that your mind doesn’t have the ability to process all the information coming at it, so it uses automations to keep you safe.

The cool part is this: based on the software (our self-talk) we can program our minds to see the patterns we want to see and avoid the patterns we don’t want to see.

Want to see lots of money coming into your life? That’s a pattern. Constantly seeing lack in your life? That’s a pattern. We’re pushed and pulled toward the patterns we’re “programmed” to see.

We program our minds to find the things we think about and hold emotions about.

Much more to come. For now, start becoming aware of how you “think” in your head about yourself and your life.

Remember, we can only control two things:
What we think and how we respond to events.


Relationships are the most important thing on this planet. The relationship you have with your Self is the most important. (You’re not perfect, you never will be, becoming perfect is not the point of this experience – and the longer you hold your Self at arm’s length, the tougher this ride will be. For if you’re not you’re own best friend, no one else can be. It’s only truly lonely in this world when we shut our Self out.)

A few minutes ago I also said I’d get back the more insidious thing these instructions or Self Talk do… they hide in plain sight and are the reason you’re stuck… you’re giving yourself instructions, based on “rules” you were told were “The Rules” and therefore your Self Talk, the instructions you’re giving yourself are based on “Rules” or “Truths” that simply aren’t correct. And your Self Talk is following those “Rules” and supporting your belief in something about yourself that isn’t even true… And because these instructions or Self Talk are believed to be “True” by you at your core level, they can hide in plain sight and thus are never “challenged.”

It’s so simple we tend to miss it.